Do Women Need Marriage?

December 21, 2011 By 41 Comments

Furthermore, women who do not seek out marriage and kids are less likely to achieve it.  Finding Mr. Right generally requires not living with Mr. Wrong.  Unmarried women sometimes wonder why the best men are all taken.  Generally, it’s because  the best men have the best women.

At the same time, raising good children generally requires a good father.  Want a stressful childrearing experience?  Try going it alone, braving the wilds of single motherhood.  There’s a reason that single motherhood produces many of society’s greatest ills, from juvenile delinquency to adolescent ignorance.

So if the Sex and the City fails in practice, why do so many women buy into it?  Two generations of leftist propaganda about biology doesn’t help.  Since the 1960s, feminists have told women that they are biologically the same as men – they simply lack a few appendages here and there.  They have the same desires, the same dreams, the same urges.  This is nonsense.  But it is psychologically tempting nonsense, since most people equate equality with sameness.  In order for women to be truly equal to men, many women think, they must imitate them.

As a corollary to this argument, women have been told that childrearing is at best a distraction from their real work: career-building.  Women can and should work – there is no doubt that they contribute mightily to American life.  (As a man suffering through his wife’s medical schooling, I am a particularly enthusiastic advocate of women in the workplace.)  But childrearing is closer to our raison d’etre than  just one of many options.  Work should not be a distraction from children.

America cannot afford a marriage-less future.  Europe’s slow motion demographic suicide is a warning.   If liberals really do care about the children, the best thing they can do is encourage women to get married and have them.  If they don’t, they hurt the women who don’t bear them.

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About

Ben Shapiro is an attorney and writer and a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the Freedom Center, and author of the new book “Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How The Left Took Over Your TV” from Broadside Books, an imprint of HarperCollins.

  • mrbean

    American woman are basically worthless wives. They want a 'dual career' marriage. They are very materialistic. Once you stop buying them things, they are off to the next john. They can't make it on their own and end up leeches. They are always bitchy 90% of the time. Some are bi-polar nutcases. Don't let looks fool you. Most American women turn fat and ugly at 30-35 yrs old. That is when they want you back. No one wants them.
    And it will cost you a fortune to get rid of them.

    Solution: Marry an Asian woman who has NOT been brought up in the USA. They are great wives. The do great with the kids while the man is out working. By all means, stay away from American women, most are latently bi-sexual and ultra- liberals.

    • riley

      Yes, please for the love of god do not marry us. I do not want to be married to someone like you. I don't need or want a man like you. Please do marry an Asian who has no expectations from a husband other than a paycheck.

      • Nina

        I am Asian and I definitely will not marry for money. Can't you see the same mistake you and mrbean are making here? Please guys, do not over generalize.

  • mrbean

    American woman are basically worthless wives. They want a 'dual career' marriage. They are very materialistic. Once you stop buying them things, they are off to the next john. They can't make it on their own and end up leeches. They are always crabby 90% of the time. Some are bi-polar nutcases. Don't lest looks fool you. American Women turn fat and ugly at 30-35 years old. That is when they want you back. No one wants them.
    Solution: Marry an Asian woman who has NOT been brought up in the USA. They are great wives. The do great with the kids while their man is out working. By all means, stay away from American women, most are latently bi-sexual and ultra liberal in their political views.

    • Philosopher

      You sound like a thoroughly unhappy individual. I don't know how you come up with these lunatic statements but they say more about your own craziness than about American women.

      • mrbean

        Me velly happy, She so hawny, She luf me long time. Me her numba one luffa.

    • Questions

      Aren't there SOME good American women? I speak as someone who's divorced myself. There have got to be a few good ones. Buy "Made in the USA!" No?

  • mrbean

    My son told me once, why buy the cow if you can get the milk free?

    • ILIA

      That's an Albanian "proverb".

  • Yeshayahu Goldfeld

    Approaching eighty , after marriage and divorce and still in the claws of a divorcee, I see
    no point in traditional church sanctified or official marriage.
    Lawyers , psychologists and social workers should work out a new basis for sexual
    partnership for those who are still interested a binding relationship.

    • Tom Simon

      If you’re approaching eighty, and still think psychologists, social workers, and of all people, lawyers can be trusted to create a new basis for human society — well, I can’t hold out much hope that you’ll ever learn anything now. But you certainly didn’t make the best use of the chances you had.

      • Jenny

        Cut him some slack. He's talking from experience and he's right. The traditional ways have to go. We are a modern society now.

        I doubt you're even half his age and will ever know.

  • Ronnie Kirkley

    As someone who is divorced, her fault not mine, I'm not sure I want to repeat the process again. My Dad was a preacher and I think marriage can be a great thing but given peoples attitude toward each other and the selfishness that people have, I just don't think it is like it was long ago and not sure it will be again.

    I can sort of see where mrbean is coming from but not sure I would go quite that far, pretty close tho. I have met guys who are married to Asians or ladies from other countries, they sure have their good points. I'm not saying they are perfect but still.

  • mlcblog

    I think there has to be a spiritual component for marriage to succeed, at least the two have to really love each other, and then both benefit. The Word of God says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing…t says that in Proverbs.

  • Humanist

    There is no contradiction between remaining single and being a parent. A woman can be just friendly with a man without getting married and yet get pregnant from him on the condition that he would play the role of a remote father. The man would be happy to fund the cost of raising his baby at least partly. This would be a better arrangement than marriage, where issues of incompatibility with 24-hours of living together is bound to arise. This new arrangement may be called unmarried parenting.

    • Freedom John

      First of all, what kind of "man" in his right mind would want to be a "remote father." Women generally do not understand men or boys just like men do not understand women or young girls. Girls need the emotion and nurturing from a mother. Boys need a strong male presence to complete them. You've clearly never raised a young boy who turns into a strong willed teenager by yourself. I have absolutely zero respect for a "man" who to me is really just a little boy that wants to spread his seed all around like he's some sort of little "god" but cannot achieve any real emotional commitment. I'm sorry but that is not a "man" to me and most men I know would shun him.

      • Questions

        Most men, save for the blacks, don't plan to be remote fathers. But circumstances (like a nasty and vindictive estranged wife) often force them into it.

    • Bikerdad

      Why would a man be happy to fund the cost of raising a child when, for all practical purposes except when it's time to pay, it's HER child?

      Your "new arrangement" is a disastrous, unworkable fantasy.

    • Jennifer

      As a single mom…i disagree. I wish I would have done things differently. I love my daughter with all my heart and have done her a great disservice by playing mom/dad role. Sex before marriage should be the exception not the rule.

  • tanstaafl

    "men will generally pursue multiple women rather than monogamy if given the choice" – nothing like being reduced to a latter-day Hugh Hefner this early in the morning.

    • tagalog

      If it's true that men will pursue multiple women, and if it's also true that women have had to live in a patriarchy almost everywhere in the world, how did marriage get started and imposed as a value? Did some renegade woman get her claws into the male hierarchy somewhere?

      A related question is: how is that no-fault divorce, birth control a la The Pill, and the other factors that have weakened marriage as an institution parallel the rise of women's rights? Could there be something more at work than just a correlation?

      • nightspore

        Your first point is a good one. This is a weak point in the article – in fact, as you imply what the author says can't be true.

        I would drop the "almost", however. I recall a book on this, called something like the Myth of the Matriarchical Society, that showed that for every such claim, closer examination showed that the society was basically patriarchical.

  • Asher

    Marriage is not over. There are those who have been married 60 years or more that have never strayed on their spouses. Two joined together make 1 unit that respect and love one another, for better or worse you promise God to stay true to one another. The decay of moral society continues, but there are many who will not sacrifice their vows or their devotion to one another, and this is very appealing to women who are good wives and mothers and husbands who value their wives and families. .Take into consideration the value of a woman who takes care of the home, cooks, buys groceries, feeds the children, takes them to school, pays the bills, is a good partner to her husband. A woman's worth is very high, only a Muslim who doesn't value women would blaspheme people he doesn't even know. Women are treated like Dogs in Muslim countries!

  • tagalog

    Who needs marriage? It's just a sheet of paper, right?

    But if it's just a sheet of paper, why not get married? After all, if you have kids, they'll be legitimate. And after all, there IS no-fault divorce, so it's not a big deal, right?

    Then the woman can raise the kids as a single mom while the dad just pays child support and moves on to the next woman, who, as a "hear me roar" kind of woman will hold down a job to support the guy while he stays home all day in his shorts watching Dr. Oz and eating bon bons. When she gets home she can clean up after him while the ex takes care of her new boyfriend and the kid or kids. Ah, brave new world, that has such people in it! Must be the best of all possible worlds, eh?

    Who knows, with a little luck both of them can move in with the parents and have the parents take care of the kids and support them without either of them having to get a job.

  • Freedom John

    I think by in large we've both, men and women, become a very selfish and self-serving society. The level of commitment is abominable. We're raised more little "bastards" than probably all generations before us. It's like the England Dan and John Ford Coley song "Sad To Belong to someone else when the right one comes along." How can you be sure this is the right one, You thought the one you're with was the right one. And what happens when possibly the "real" right one comes along. This could go on forever. Hence, no commitment. The children, provided you have children, really suffer especially by the shear number of single mothers in our society. What has happened to our level of commitment and loyalty? You see it not only in our relationships, marriage, to our children, etc but even bosses to employees, employees to their jobs. It, in my opinion, is truly a spiritual problem. But without spiritual leaders who is going to teach us these principals? The church and even the synagogues seem to have lost their way because they themselves have become intertwined in the same unhealthy society we're all trapped in. The destruction of loving, committed marriages and a safe environment for our children with both parents in the home is just another example of a deeply unhappy, dissatisfied and decaying society. We'd better shape us or we're gone, And yes, I was divorced once but have been remarried for 25 years so I was once part of the problem. I've got experience from whence I speak.

  • joy52

    Surprised at the number of responses against marriage. Speaking as one who never wanted to marry, then did, and has stayed with the same person through thick and thin for over thirty years–it is my humble opinion that marriage works when there is a committment to the family no matter what. There are plenty of no matter whats and spouses have to be set straight now and then. But with a shared committment to lifting the family higher, it can work. The children appreciate it and learn from the example.

  • Lady_Dr

    As I see it a lot of single women would like to be married, but as the Albanian saying goes "why buy the cow if the milk is free?" And there is plenty of free milk out there. So the woman who doesn't put out just gets put out of the game.

    When females start having more respect for themselves instead of sleeping around, when females start expecting males to work and do something with their lives, when females start acting like women instead of doormats/mother-figure replacements/pals, and all the other inappropriate roles they have taken on then males will be forced to become men instead of boys in adult bodies.

  • Questions

    Methinks Ben is a bit hasty. For one thing, people are living longer. And that means elderly widows and widowers constitute a higher share of the U.S. population than ever. For another, the age of first marriage has increased by about a half-dozen years each for men and women since 1960. That means more singles. Is that so bad? Research has shown, time and again, that early marriage correlates positively with high divorce rates.

    Before we press the moral panic button and cry "Cultural collapse!," we should look more closely at the numbers. It's looks like Ben Shapiro hasn't.

  • UCSPanther

    I think years of radical feminism have much to do with this problem. When it went from just giving women an equal voice to removing all accountability from women in family law, that's where things started going downhill.

    When men start to see at how the marriage/family law system both excuse and even reward flagrantly corrupt and unjust behavior, you can see why they are shying away from marriage.

  • Lady_Dr

    The real purpose of the women's movement was to give women the same lack of responsibilty men had always had.

  • Bikerdad

    " If liberals really do care about the children, the best thing they can do is encourage women to get married and have them. – Ben Shapiro "

    Sorry Ben, but you're worse than half-wrong. THIS is what you should have written:

    If liberals really do care about the children, the best thing they can do is encourage women to get married and have them, and STAY MARRIED.

  • old timer

    Men in single state should tarry,
    While women, I suggest they marry.

    Samuel Hoffenstein (1890–1947)

  • tanstaafl

    "Better to marry than to burn."

  • Mostak Ahmed (Palas)

    Dear All,

    I am very open minded man but I don’t mix money with love.

    I am Palas, 35years old. I am an Engineer working at a mobile operating company for full time. I am married but my wife went to soil rest (death) on 16-Dec-2011. I have two kids. Now i am finding a honest and cute life partner and mom for my kids.

    i want a honest woman to marry. If you feel interest please send me your fill data with recent photo ASAP. I don’t late to next marry.i have no sufficient money but i have enough love for you, if you come to my country.

    You can call me anytime to my cellphone:+8801911310152

    e-mail: [email protected]

    Love always

    Palas

    Bangladesh

    • jen

      Did you burn your wife for not having enough dowry money? Oh no… run!

  • clinton
  • Jennifer

    Marriage is ideal for family…kids need daddys not checks. I’m a single mom who married another man to sub as a father and ended up divorced to a pedophile serving 20 years. We should all think long and hard before sleeping with someone…all birth control can fail. If you don’t see yourself raising children together….don’t do it. We had it right 60 years ago.

  • taj khan
  • taj khan

    i m single male of 28 years.i want a honest woman to marry. If you feel interest please send me your fill data with recent photo ASAP. I don’t late to next marry.i have no sufficient money but i have enough love for you.
    You can call me anytime to my cellphone:+923465855533

    e-mail: [email protected]

  • http://no rajib

    Dear All,

    I am very open minded man but I don’t mix money with love.

    I am Palas, 32years old. I am married no kids. Now i am finding a honest and cute life partner and for my kids.and no have my money

    i want a honest woman to marry. If you feel interest please send me your fill data with recent photo ASAP. I don’t late to next marry.love for you, if you come to my country.

    You can call me anytime to my cellphone:+8801920807727

    e-mail: [email protected]

    Love always

    Palas

    Bangladesh

    • ismail safi

      male ya famel

  • Nick

    Do women need marriage? Absolutely not! Being married doesn't account for raising productive citizens of society. Clearly, this is a misnomer. Illusionary at best!