If you wake up each morning wondering which Che t-shirt to put on today and your only non-Che t-shirt says, “I went to see the embalmed corpse of Communism’s Third-Greatest Mass Murderer and All I Got Was This T-Shirt”… boy does Venezuela have a great tourist destination for you.
Venezuela’s acting president says Hugo Chavez’s embalmed body will be permanently displayed in a glass casket so that “his people will always have him.”
And they will always be able to smell him too. Sadly when Venezuela goes bankrupt and they try to sell him, they will discover that a Chavez mummy doesn’t fetch much on the international market.
Maybe Ahmadinejad will buy him to cuddle with in those cold Iranian winters.
Vice President Nicolas Maduro says the remains will be put on permanent display at the Museum of the Revolution, close to the presidential palace where Chavez ruled for 14 years. Maduro says the president will lie in state first for at least another seven days.
A state funeral for Chavez attended by some 33 heads of government is scheduled to begin Friday morning. Tens of thousands have already filed past his glass-topped casket at a military academy following a seven-hour procession on Tuesday which took his body from the hospital where he died.
Let’s translate that.
Maduro and Chavez’s old cronies know they’re in deep trouble and are building a state cult of Chavez to stave off the inevitable backlash when the economy really begins to fry.
It didn’t work for the Soviet Union. It won’t work for Venezuela. And a few weeks from now, the same people waving photos of Chavez will be complaining that Maduro betrayed the Bolivarian Revolution and that Chavez would never have stood for it if he was alive.
The good news is that at least Latin America has some pyramids, even if they had a different purpose, so when the next shlock filmmaker wants to reenact Night of the Chavez, they can just bundle up the dead dictator inside one of them and film the story of a bunch of explorers looking for Chavez’s buried 2 billion dollar fortune only to experience the Curse of the Dead Socialist Economic System.