Piers Morgan Runs Out of Dead Kids, Experiences Ratings Fall


Around the world, different people are praying for different things. Some people are praying for their families and other people are praying for their health. Some pray for the future of their country and others pray for something that they really need.

Piers Morgan is praying for dead kids.

The disgraced tabloid editor was brought in to handle celebrity interviews after everyone at CNN assumed that Larry King had died. King had not actually died and no one wanted to watch a doughy British man interview minor celebs on CNN.

Then Piers Morgan discovered dead kids. For weeks he yelled about assault rifles and did everything but go out to the Newtown cemetery with a shovel. And then the news rolled on and no one is watching Piers Morgan.

How bad is the situation?

Larry King got more younger viewers than Piers Morgan did.

These were Larry King’s ratings from his final show.

The audience skewed toward older demographics: only 530,000 of the 2.24 million viewers were between the ages of 25 and 54, the demographic favored by cable news advertisers.

These are Piers Morgan’s ratings.

The February 28th episode of Piers Morgan Tonight, which featured an exclusive interview with Gus Searcy, the mentor of Jodi Arias suffered a yearly low in the key 25-54 demographic with only 87,000 viewers. The show is down 27% in total viewers and 38% in the demo from its debut in Jan. 17th, 2011.

You can see why Piers Morgan needs dead kids. He has no luck with living ones.

Maybe it’s time for CNN to bring Larry King back?

Comments

  1. The Patriot says:

    Time to send the Red Coat home!

  2. JacksonPearson says:

    I wonder if CNN realize how much damage this Brit dope has done to their ratings. But then again, CNN management aren't to bright either…so the two compliment each other.

  3. Not Ovenready says:

    As I've often said, this guy is plain out of his league in trying to do anything relating to hard news. But put him next to Paris Hilton, Kim Kaddishian (sarc) or a doctor for Michael Jackson and he shines like Simonize.

  4. Toni_Pereira says:

    One of the main exports of Britain nowadays is misanthropic smugs like Stephen Fry, Dick Dawkins, Ricky Gervais and that Booby in the picture. Gone are the days of the english gentleman, the age of the british idiot is here to stay…

  5. RUI says:

    Note to James Cameron: when you're out there probing the Marianas trench, be careful not to hit CNN's ratings.

  6. Firebird says:

    Couldnt happen toa more deserving little reptile like him I hope he gets his pink slip soon and is soon waiting for anew job as a sanatation worker after all if he can deal out the rubbish he certianly can handle it

  7. Guest says:

    Piers Morgan may be an Islamic Extremist and Commie Sympathizer, but he is truly the Greatest American.
    He is a great man, deporting himself this way and that.
    He deports himself with dignity.

    Please see the debate on Biofind: http://www.biofind.com/rumor-mill/pier-morgan-hus

  8. Guest says:

    Jesus would not risk his sobriety by enjoying a few whippets and poppers and some stereo head cleaner before going out for a night on the town for some intense sausage smuggling at the Jerusalem book stores. Piers Morgan has demonstrated through historical reenactment that glory holes have been socially acceptable since many centuries before Christ.

    Please follow the debate on Biofind: http://www.biofind.com/rumor-mill/piers-morgan-vo

  9. Guest says:

    One thing you have all very conveniently forgotten:

    Piers Morgan is a very spiritual and religious man.
    Ergo, just like Mitt he tithes his 10%, but pays no more than he has to in taxes (e.g., 12% overall).
    He gives of himself and his time because he cares about the children.
    He's the only Brit who gives a hoot about automatic weapons used in gun violence against small children.
    He stands alone in this. Everyone else in the world wants more guns; he wants fewer guns.
    Piers Morgan is a very brave and courageous man.
    You should respect him, and not just laugh at him.

    Please inspect the debate on Piers' gun battle for control of the gun debate: http://www.biofind.com: http://www.biofind.com/rumor-mill/piers-morgan-vo

  10. Guest says:

    Piers will be remembered as a man of peace, like Ghandi and the scientists of the Manhattan Project, making the atom bomb.

    Piers is here to save lives. He's a little like John Smith in that way. But, he's also sexy androgynous, like Robert Smith.

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